".....Mommy Told Me All About You"
What a hurtful thing to hear from your own child, especially on Father's Day weekend. This is what one of my daughters randomly told me as we were hanging out.
What Is Parental Alienation Syndrome?
When you are done reading this post you are welcome to do a online search for "Parental Alienation Syndrome" or PAS and you will find a lot of information from websites, to videos to posts such as this. In a nutshell this is where one parent referred to as the "Alienator" does whatever is in their power to destroy a child's relationship with the "Targeted Parent" after the demise of the relationship.
Les Linet MD has a great YouTube page on the topic, here is a link to one of the best videos I have seen on the subject.
This second message is out of order and sent from my daughter's mother's boyfriend a few days after I called the police with an Interference With Judicial Proceedings complaint because my ex and her boyfriend decided that the girls weren't going to hang out with me during my court-ordered parenting time because they didn't feel like it. What's curious about this fellow is that he abandoned his own son out of state and has refused to have a conversation with me about his role in my daughters lives for three years and counting.
Are You A Victim of PAS?
If your former partner exhibits any of the behaviours discussed in the above video you just may be a victim of PAS.
Here are two examples of PAS from my personal experience. This first message was sent to me by the girls mother on Father's day just moments after we got off of the telephone after discussing that day's pick up time.
Here are two examples of PAS from my personal experience. This first message was sent to me by the girls mother on Father's day just moments after we got off of the telephone after discussing that day's pick up time.
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| Text Sent By Mother On Father's Day |
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| Unsolicited Text From Mother's Boyfriend |
This second message is out of order and sent from my daughter's mother's boyfriend a few days after I called the police with an Interference With Judicial Proceedings complaint because my ex and her boyfriend decided that the girls weren't going to hang out with me during my court-ordered parenting time because they didn't feel like it. What's curious about this fellow is that he abandoned his own son out of state and has refused to have a conversation with me about his role in my daughters lives for three years and counting.
What To Do If You're A Victim Of PAS?
THE FOLLOWING ADVICE IS STRICTLY MY OPINION BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SUBJECT. THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN AS LEGAL OR MEDICAL ADVICE AND IT IS SUGGESTED THAT YOU SEEK THE ASSISTANCE OF A TRAINED MENTAL HEALTH OR LEGAL PROFESSION WHERE APPLICABLE.
One of my favourite quotes from philosopher Fredrich Nietzsche reads:
"Battle Not With Monsters, Least Ye Become A Monster, and If You Stare Into The Abyss, the Abyss Gazes Also Into You"
Easier said than done, I know. However, this may lend more weight than most of the generic advice that you will hear from well-meaning family, friends and acquaintances because this is coming from someone who has lived and is currently living this and is telling you precisely how he wishes he would have acted had he had the opportunity to go back and do it all over.
"Battle Not With Monsters, Least Ye Become A Monster, and If You Stare Into The Abyss, the Abyss Gazes Also Into You"
This is one thing that I didn't do and would recommend that anyone going through follow the above advice from Mr. Nietzsche. Don't try to figure out why your former partner is acting a certain way, disallowing visitation or just acting errantly and irrationally. Just keep a clear head, focus on what you can do to display your love as a parent and then engage the assistance of the necessary resources where appropriate.
Easier said than done, I know. However, this may lend more weight than most of the generic advice that you will hear from well-meaning family, friends and acquaintances because this is coming from someone who has lived and is currently living this and is telling you precisely how he wishes he would have acted had he had the opportunity to go back and do it all over.
Until we read again,
Jaxon
p.s. I hope this post helps, reach out to me if you are the victim of Parental Alienation or share this with someone who is going through a similar situation.
p.p.s. You are also welcomed and encouraged to share your experiences below because your story may just help inspire another reader or awaken something within yourself.
p.p.s. You are also welcomed and encouraged to share your experiences below because your story may just help inspire another reader or awaken something within yourself.
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