Thursday, July 24, 2014

Why The Person That Cut You Off In Traffic Today Awesome....

....Okay, Maybe Not That Awesome But Keep Reading

It was very hot in Phoenix today, heck it's after 0900 pm PST and it is still 111 degrees!   In related news, tomorrow is Friday, ESPN Sports Center will get a lot more exciting in about a month, and water is wet.    

One of my favourite things to do in any weather is go to a bookstore and read segments of random books.   The last time I did this I read a book about leadership, sociology and the different stages of groups\individual behaviours and development.    The stages discussed were:   

  1. Life Sucks
  2. My Life Sucks
  3. I'm\We're Great and You're Not
  4. We're Great and Life Is Great : Everything Is Awesome

In this post I will talk about how I have personally gone through all of these stages in my own life along with some public examples where applicable, what stage is my personal favourite and why that person that cut you off in traffic this morning may really not be all that bad.

I was in stage one "Life Sucks"  from about the fifth grade to high school.   My dad retired young when I was in first grade and he moved the entire family from Denver where I had a lot of diverse friends to Iowa where for some reason I could not make any friends.   The weather in Iowa was interesting in that the winters were beyond freezing and frequently involved subzero days, 20+ foot snow drifts and snow days which meant that we would have to go to school until mid to late June shortening the summer break.   My parents divorced when I was 13, my siblings and I moved to Tucson, Arizona. 

Arizona is where I transitioned into the other levels, let's start with stage two "My Life Sucks".   I was getting used to Arizona but I liked the change and the weather was definitely void of snow days.   My first day of school, which was a Junior High School literally smack dab in the middle of an Indian Reservation, was less than favorable.    When walking to class after lunch some  gangster fellow pushed me down to the ground  and stood over me.   He kept asking me what I "claimed" because apparently I was wearing the colours of a rival gang.   Lucky for me some fellow came up to the aggressor and told him that I just moved from "Idaho" and that I wasn't a threat.   Funny sub story, the gangster that wanted to beat me up and I became friends and I quickly moved into stage three. 

I spent most of my life in the "I'm\Were Great and  Your Not Stage" as a matter a fact I just transitioned out of this stage earlier this year.     Basically all of my friends were cool but people that I didn't know, didn't hang out in my clique or even didn't root for the same sports teams that I fancied were "worthless losers" or worse.  This stage is very popular in the music business amongst rappers who have beef with each other and fans that get into vapid conversations about how Rapper A is not as good as Rapper B.   It embarrasses me to even share how long I was in this stage but it's worth it because I do want to share that these first three stages are the most negative, toxic and unhealthy place to live from.   If you are in  one of these stages now I invite you to join me in stage four ASAP.   

Stage four "We're Great and Life Is Great", going off of the rapper example in the prior example both Rapper A and Rapper B can be cool.   I used to really side with one team in sports and get crazily upset if the team that I was rooting for lost and sometimes even get into verbal arguments with folks rooting for the opposing squad.    This year's Super Bowl was embarrassingly the first time in my life that I didn't feel that way.    Being a Denver Broncos fan is was hard to watch the Seattle Seahawks dismantle the Broncos and end up winning by a score of 79-4 but it wasn't hard congratulating Seahawks fans and the actual team for having a great season and a great performance in the Super Bowl. 

 This stage also reminds me of a cartoon-like movie  about self-locking building bricks (which is very fitting because I believe that children naturally start life out in this stage) and the following thought which was shared with me earlier today: 

"...the truth remains that you could not be who you now are, if others were not who they now are. 

Including those people you sometimes wish were not who they now are." 

What a profound thought.   If things have not turned out precisely the way they did you would not be reading this right now and traveling down the path you are traveling down.   The guy that cut you off this morning may have set of a random unseen series of events that led you to that one really great thing that happened to you. 
The moral of the story is that we are all one in the same and you can live in any of the stages discussed in this post but it is highly recommended to go and remain in stage four if you want a more powerful and empowering experience in life. 

Until we read again, 


p.s.    Excited for the book which is coming out Late 2014

Friday, July 18, 2014

Obligatory Entitlement

What Do You Feel Obligated To Do?

The other day I was having a conversation with my friend Karen and we both arrived to the conclusion that we are not comfortable with the feeling of being obligated to do anything.    For those of you who have read any of my prior posts know my thoughts on "Should-Ing" , feel free to read by clicking on the following link.  Basically I think it's human nature to not want to feel like they should be doing something that they don't feel like doing and how it's not healthy to feel like things "should" be any different than they currently are. 

This leads to entitlement.    Now, I could write about the principle of entitlement or I can direct you to this fantastic well-written blog post I read by a woman by the name of  Jani Franck from the UK entitled "On Entitlement and the Stoics".   The entire post is great but pay close attention to her lists, her stance on relationships and the awesome thoughts of the stoic philosophers. 

Happy reading, and until next time please don't do anything that you feel "obligated" to do, unless you are truly obligated to do it. 

Until we read again, 


p.s.    Thank you for reading this post out of pure un-obligation. 
p.p.s.   "Today Was A Good Day" by Ice Cube just came over my music-mix.    Very fitting, very fitting. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

All Things Are Awesome & I Don't Particularly Even Like Legos

A Phenomenal Paradigm Shift That All But Guarantees Increased Happiness

When I was in my late teens I read Steven Covey's wonderful best seller The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People for the first time.   The book has been read several times since and every time I peruse its contents I derive something different from the words on the pages.     One thing that really stuck out during the first reading of the book was regarding paradigms and paradigm shifts. 

Covey tells the story of being on a bus when a fellow who seemed really nonchalant and out of sorts boards with four unruly children who are displaying highly disruptive behaviours.   Feeling a little peeved at the father's lack of attention towards his children Covey asks the father if he could perhaps talk to his children about their disruptive behaviours, which are visibly having a negative effect on Covey and some of the other passengers, and perhaps have the children sit quietly for the remainder of the trip.  The father apologies for his lack of discipline and tells Covey that they just came from the hospital where the children's mother and his wife just passed away and how he guesses that him and his children just don't know how to act at that moment.   Covey went on to say  how this information caused him to switch his mind-set, or paradigm, about the situation  from a state of mild annoyance to one of helpfulness and sympathy.  

Isn't it amazing how just one minor tweak in our mind-set can have a tremendous impact on our perceptions.    Earlier today I was drawn to a particular paradigm that may cause you and me to have an instant increase in satisfaction.    Here's the catch, you won't be reading about it now.   However, you will learn all about it after I field test this belief for a few days to a week. 

Make it an excellent week!

Until we read again, 


p.s.   BONUS CONTENT Enjoy! 

Monday, July 7, 2014

A Vortex, Upward Spiral, And Secret Behind The Secret

Remember 2007?    It was a great year in many ways and the year that the movie phenomenon The Secret was released.  Believe it or not I watched it a couple times, I manifested a few parking spots.     Actually looking back seven years later I manifested everything that I had secretly hoped for since I first watched the movie and even before then.

The Secret Behind The Secret As I See It Is:

The universe will bring you what you wish for using the path of least resistance or the easiest way possible.    So keep all thoughts above the boards. 

BONUS SECRET:   If you want to emerge where you currently are in life you have to be grateful and appreciative of where you currently are or else you will never raise above current circumstances. 

Here is to a great remainder of your month.

Until we read again,


Thursday, July 3, 2014

How To Miss Your Kids

Divorce is an interesting thing.   You are now mortal enemies with someone you loved dearly (in some cases).   It's even more different if there are children involved.   All of a sudden your children who you were able to see anytime you weren't busy are only available to hang out certain times of the month.

If you,  like me, miss your kids like nothing you have ever experienced when they are not with you what do you do?  You could ask the opposing parent for additional parenting time but if your situation is anything like mine you would have a better chance growing taller overnight.

So what do you do?  You can ask for more parenting time through the courts and you may or may not get it but what do you do during the interim?  Thought you would never ask....

This is what I've done.  My twin daughters are turning six this year and since they turned three I opened an email account for them and I'll write them periodic messages.   This is a way to feel an emotional connection with your children by writing them now in a perceived future.   Make sure you remember the e-mail password and above all else keep it classy.   Divorce is between you and your ex and should have nothing to do with your children.   This email journaling should just be all about you and your child's relationship.

Until we read again,


Water Cooler Intentions

The Road To __________ Is Paved With Intentions

Who doesn't love a little water cooler chatter?   This past Tuesday I overheard two of my colleagues wishing one another a good third quarter.    One of the two was proudly professing how he had a great third quarter in 2013 and that was just a fluke and how this year was going to be terrible.

Fast forward to yesterday.   I was talking to a fellow before a meeting about how his name was in a raffle to win an all expenses paid trip for two to an awesome destination.  The guy proceeded to tell me how he never wins anything so he's not going to hold his breath.  I sincerely and directly told him something along the lines of how his luck is going to change and told him that I would send him some positive winning vibes.

About an hour later my pal ran up to me with the biggest most sincere smile on his face carrying a large novelty ticket.  "I Won, I Won" he exclaimed.   We shared a celebratory moment before proceeding with our day.

Moral of the story is I'm not saying that we can predict the future all I'm saying is that if our intentions may shape our destination why not wish for what we want versus what we don't want?    Try it, you might like it.

Until we read again,



Wednesday, July 2, 2014

"Your Wish Is My Command"

Congratulations!    You are the proud recipient of a genie's lamp.    Here's the catch.    You don't get three wishes.    You get an infinite number of wishes.    Yes, not pulling your chain, you can ask for whatever you want.    We've all watched programs in the past where people find a genie's lamp, ask for three wishes and get something completely different than what you thought you asked for.    So my advice to you is to ask carefully. 

Let's revisit those genie lamp shows that I just talked about.    Did the wish recipients really get what they asked for or did the genie make a mistake?       Rhetorical question that you can think about for a while.     My stance is that we always get what we ask for. 

So the moral of the story is to ASK CAREFULLY. 

Until we read again,