How To Cut Through Parental Alienation Like A Chainsaw Through A Shark Storm*
The reason that I wept in public was because that was the day that my twin daughters turned three and I was legally unable to see them because of an Order of Protection my then wife had placed on me while we were separated. The order prevented me from coming within a certain radius of her which is why I just decided to go out of town. I fruitlessly attempted to reach out to a few of her relatives asking them to send me photographs of my daughters or even have them telephone me to at least sing them
Happy Birthday". Long story to short I didn't hear from my girls for at least three weeks after their birthday and never heard back from any of their mother's relatives.
- Don't Always Assume That The Opposing Parent Is Attempting To Alienate Your Child(ren) Regardless of Past History: Yes, I know that my daughter's mother was trying to push the girls away from me by making it illegal for me to attend their third birthday party as she confessed under oath in divorce court. However, I wasn't sure that this is what she was doing for their first day of kindergarten. It may have been what she was doing but I didn't know that. Negative assumptions have a way of just causing worthless anger which could lead to a bad toxic environment. Now I could have gotten super upset about Sunday night's text and sent a really angry, vile hateful written message via e-mail or text giving her a piece of my mind. Or I could have showed up to the school before the first day and bawled by ex out in front of my children and all other kids, parents and teachers and negatively affect EVERYONEs day, not just my daughters. In summary, just focus on controlling yourself and your relationship with your child(ren) because there is nothing that you can do to change or control the behaviour of the opposing parent whether or not they are exhibiting alienating actions.
- Focus Only On What You Can Do And Take The High Road: The first time someone told me about the "high road" concept I thought that they had fallen off their rocker mainly because I used to act as an emotional linebacker who was highly proficient of traveling the low road. So much so that I prided myself in acting in this manner and re-telling tales in a braggadocios fashion to whoever wanted to or I thought was listening. In a nutshell when you act from the high road you do what is best for the situation and you focus on yourself and what you can control. I could have just not shown up for my daughter's first day of kindergarten and then proceed to tell my children that I wasn't there because their mom wouldn't let me go or that I tried to call but since their mother didn't answer I didn't know where to go so I just didn't go. In summary; focus on what's important and what you can do. Excluding some extreme situations, which unfortunately do exist to a degree, you do not need the alienating\opposing parent's permission to be a good parent for your child.