The Gap Between Perceived Reality & What You Expect

Do You Wanna Read A Dad Blog?

I found myself watching one of my favourite movies "Wolf Of Wall Street" for the fourth time earlier today.     The movie is beyond interesting and you know when you watch a movie multiple times you notice different things?    Today I noticed how anger may be caused when the gap between what we expect to happen and what actually happens or perceived reality is farther apart than what we hope for. 

The scene that made me notice this was towards the end of the movie after Jordan got indited and was talking about the details with his wife Naomi aka Duchess in their bedroom.    Jordan had this impression that his wife was going to be supportive while he was serving his prison sentence by staying with him and allowing him contact with his children.      When Naomi asked Jordan for a divorce, told him that she didn't love him and made him aware that she already consulted with an attorney: Jordan started yelling, slapped Naomi, ripped open the couch cushions, started snorting a pile of cocaine (after being clean for some time), punched Naomi in the stomach, woke his daughter Skylar and took her out of her bed, drove through a closing garage door and rammed his car into a wall...............   Arguably he did this all because of the gap between what he expected to happen over the next few years and the fear over what really might happen while he was imprisoned. 

What 'gaps' are currently making you angry?   Can you see where a 'gap' made you upset in your past?   Unfortunately I can and can fortunately see where a future with detached expectations can keep a lot of this useless energy out of our lives. 

What are your thoughts?   Comment below. 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

Water, Self-Esteem & That Mistake You Made

Beating yourself up over mistakes and judging your every thought\action will bankrupt your self-esteem & make you miserable. 

-- Brenden Dilley: Author

It is said that the body is anywhere from 60% - 75% water.    A lot of discussion has gone on around Dr. Massaru Emoto and his famous water study.    The gist of his experiment is he filled a number of beakers with rice and water and spoke or didn't speak certain words into the different beakers every day for a period of 30 days and then studied the results of the water and rice.    If you are not familiar with this experiment you can do a quick Internet search or you can view a specific study here as it relates to treating children. 

If the findings of this experiment is true how do you think your self-talk is effecting your physical\spiritual body?    Are you constantly berating yourself for being an imperfect person and not being able to go back in time to change something(s) that you did that may have created a better present moment or are you treating yourself more kindly?    Or are you telling yourself, we all make mistakes there are no perfect people in the world?    For all I know what has happened could be the best thing that could have happened to me in order to transform me into the person that I need to become.     As of now the perfect solution for my situation exists and I will learn about it when the time is right. 

Words are things and bring us the results in our lives.   Use your words wisely.   Love yourself and realize that you did what you did, are where you are and focus on getting better and better every day in every way.   This Too Shall Pass

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

Are You Neglecting Something To Focus On Something Else?

Independence Weekend

You Should Go Write A Book

Just experienced a different and interesting experience thus fueling my different and interesting mood which is fuel for this blog post which I warn you may be all across the board in a good way.

Less recently but more so in our younger years I used to always follow up the stories of one of my best friends of close to 20 years with a "you should write a book."   The reason I would say this was because his southern upbringing led to a lot of interesting stories which were in my opinion designed to entertain. 

In one of the earlier posts I mentioned a book that  I will be releasing before the end of 2014.   My life and especially my last few years have inspired me to take my advice and write a book, a book that I hope will do more than just entertain but also teach, inspire and cause the reader to do more and feel motivated and propelled to move towards their desired life.   The rest of the post will be a teaser about two topics which will be covered in the book. 

SOMETIMES A LOSS IS A WIN

Not going to go too much into this topic because I have written about the topic in both of my blogs.   The main thing here is whether your "loss" occurred in the past or if you are going through it now there may just be some good hidden in all the perceived dismal reality of the situation.   There may not even be any "bad" in the experience in hindsight.     Remember to take the wise advice of Shakespeare and remember that "There Is Nothing Good Or Bad But Thinking Makes It So."     Either today if there is still time or tomorrow I invite you to grab a clean piece of paper and a fresh writing utensil; or your smart phone, tablet, or laptop if you are living in the 21st century, I kid.     On top of the page write the problem that you are dealing with and fill out the entire page with what could be good about your situation.  See below for an example as would be written by US Men's Soccer Forward Clint Dempsey after the United States lost to Germany this morning by a score of 1-nil. 

problem >> We (US Men's Soccer Team) Lost To Germany In The World Cup

question >>  What Is Or Could Be Good About This?

1. We advance to the next round of the World Cup playing Belgium on Tuesday
2. We almost scored at the end of the game, which gives us some confidence as  a team
3. We played a very good Germany team pretty well also giving us confidence
4. Germany is so good that they exposed some of our weaknesses which will only help us get better in the long run
5. ect.....ect...

DEFYING GRAVITY

You ever experience water running down the side of your glass versus pouring perfectly into it's desired destination? Well, this has something to do with surface tension and little to nothing to do with good luck or positive thinking.   You see, there are specific natural laws that govern the universe and apply to everyone regardless of circumstances.    If a cute three month old puppy were to accidentally run off a 30 storey balcony of a high rise apartment there is a near 100% chance that she will fall to her death.    Now this may not be fair or pleasant but there are some laws that are black and white and regardless of our perceived abilities we must work in conjunction with them as we are not able to defy gravity. 

The morals of today's post are to:

• Stay Tuned For My First Book Coming In Late 2014
• Sometimes A Loss Is A Win
• Be In Alignment With The Forces of Nature

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.  Are you a writer or inspiring writer?
p.p.s.   Feel free to plug your literary works and/or ideas in the COMMENTS section below because we would LOVE to read all about it. 

Continually Encourage Creativity In Your Children

A huge smile came over my face when I saw this advert on youtube before I watched my music video.     I liked the video so much that I didn't even choose "SkipAd" when I had the chance. 

Can't help but think what a wonderful world ours would be if we encouraged our children to be continually creative, not only as children but throughout their life. 

Check out the video by CLICKING HERE.   Enjoy. 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.   This is not an advert for the particular organization sponsoring this video as I am not even too sure as to what it is.    However, I suggest that you watch the video and experience the joy of this message. 

Why Forgiveness Matters

FORGIVNESS

For the sake of discussion say that you owned a nice functional barn in the middle of the country for whatever reason you would want to own a barn for.     The only thing wrong with this barn is that it is rat ridden.     You decide that you do not want to hire an exterminator so you drive into town to the closest general store and purchase the perfect amount of industrial strength rat poison that would be more than enough to take care of your situation.   You pack the poison in your trunk or back of your truck and drive back to the country. 

You pull up right in front of your barn, take the rat poison out of your vehicle and you start using your hands to consume as much rat poison as possible in an attempt to eradicate all of the rats that are residing in your barn.    You are an intelligent person so let me as you a few questions:

• What do you think is going to happen  to the rats?

• What do you think is going to happen to you?

• What do you think happens to you on the inside when you hold onto anger and resentment towards someone for a past transgression?

• What do you think happens to the person who has not received your forgiveness?

• Do you like rhetorical questions?

Three Forgiving Steps To A Better Life

1. Forgive Yourself:  Maybe I am just speaking for myself here but we have all done some severely fucked up shit in our day.   (Sorry for the language, but I REALLY wanted to get a point across).    Some things we did on purpose, other things that we did on accident but all things that we wish we wouldn't have done.    See yourself with kind eyes and realize that you are only human, forget after you forgive. 

1. Forgive Others:  If there is anyone that you need to forgive in your life; a parent, an ex, a friend, that jagoff in traffic today (for all you road ragers out there...ha ha) etc?    If not, congrats........    However, if someone came to mind, then go ahead and forgive them now............go ahead, the rest of us will wait for you................Welcome Back!!!!!    Don't you feel better?    If you haven't actually did the exercise either DO IT NOW or make sure you do it before you fall asleep tonight.     To forgive is divine and to err is human.    If you are not perfect you do not have to expect anyone else to be. 

1. Aim For A 0.00001% Daily Improvement:  You know that one perfect person that you know that can do no wrong?    Maybe you work with them, maybe you are friends with them, maybe they are a relative, maybe it's someone you run into on an almost daily basis.     They look perfect, eat perfect, have perfect relationships, dress perfect and have nothing but perfect things happen to them?    Well I have news for you, things may not be exactly what they seem to this person.    Everyone has some stuff that they are dealing with and some area or areas in which they are trying to improve.     If you compare yourself with the most successful person you know or know of then you will automatically feel bad.    Instead focus on being a slightly better version of you yesterday as you were today and watch the results flow in....   

The moral of today's post is that holding on to resentment and anger and refusing to forgive another person is akin to a person consuming rat poison and expecting the rat to keel over. 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.    Thank you for forgiving me on misspelling the word "Forgiveness"  in today's photo caption, I appreciate it.   

Death On El Mero Dia De San Juan

This morning around 6:00 am  I telephoned my Ma to wish her a happy Dia De San Juan.  A tradition that started ever since the mid- 90's when we just moved to Tucson from the Mid-west.   One of my mom's favourite singers,  Antonio Aguilar, has a song about June 24th \ Dia De San Juan which has always reminds me of her. 

Some Say Divorce Is Worse Than Death

WARNING::  THE REMAINDER OF THIS POST IS PRETTY DARK  AS IT BROACHES SOME TABOO TOPICS.   READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

It has been said that one of the most traumatic things that a person can experience is the unexpected discovery of a dead body.   This happened to me as a child growing up on a Mid-Western farm.  My brother and I were raising two kittens that my mom had found in a barn, to this day I have yet to see kittens as beautiful as these two.

One morning after letting the kittens sleep in their box in the barn versus their normal place in the house my brother and I discovered two lifeless kittens lying in their homes covered in their own blood.

We spent the remainder of the day and most of the next week crying and I didn't own a cat again until I was in my 20's.

The Big D (Not Dallas) 

Three years ago to this day a somewhat similar event happened to me.  Now, before you think that it is weird that I recall this particular day in such vivid detail then I invite you to re-read the first paragraph about my Mom and the song. 

I pulled into the driveway of my home where my then wife was standing next to her Mom's car shaking vigorously and crying uncontrollably while trying to smoke a cigarette.  Long story short she told me that her and the girls moved out and she would be back at a future time to pick-up the remainder of her items.  Anything I said after that was meaningless,  her decision had been made and she was not turning back.

Shock and disbelief overcame me as I walked through a house that was vacant compared to how I had left it that day before work.   A few broken toys were strewn here and when I made it to my daughter's nursery I stood with my hand on the doorknob for a good minute or so which seemed like at eternity before I decided to walk in.....

The carpet was covered in random debris and was in desperate need of vacuuming.  Nails stuck out of the walls where appropriately themed photographs and pictures of the girls once hung.  A few empty hangers hung in the closet and reality set in when I saw the carpet indentations from where there cribs once were.

I was too shocked to cry or have any other strong outward emotion.   All I could think about was numbing the pain with a few cold ones that I went and picked up from the local grocer.   I consumed drink after drink while staring at a near empty home which was no longer filled with the sounds the joy and the love of my twin then two year old daughters....

Fast Forward To Today

Over the past three years a lot has happened to me that may or may not had happened had I not experienced what I just wrote.   The moral of the story is that as non-traditional as it sounds to most folks everything happens for a reason and if it was meant to be then it would have been.

Now,  why do they say divorce is worse than death?   In death the funeral is a sad time but usually just showcases the positive high points of a person's life.  In divorce all the bad awful things about the other person is usually showcased and over analyzed on a frequent basis and one could constantly be reminded of this person when they interact regarding the children or for other reasons

It's not easy, but recall that better experiences await you as soon as you move on.  If you are going through a similar situation than the one I went through,  my heart reaches out to you and I suggest that you get help if you need it.  A support system of friends and family is well and good but sometimes an outside perspective is what you need.

Until we read again,

Jaxon

p.s.  

Most Controversial Post Of The Year?

Coming Soon To An Electronic Device Near You?

"Daddy, I Used To Love You But Then...."

".....Mommy Told Me All About You" 

What a hurtful thing to hear from your own child, especially on Father's Day weekend.    This is what one of my daughters randomly told me as we were hanging out. 

What Is Parental Alienation Syndrome?

When you are done reading this post you are welcome to do a online search for "Parental Alienation Syndrome" or PAS and you will find a lot of information from websites, to videos to posts such as this.     In a nutshell this is where one parent referred to as the "Alienator" does whatever is in their power to destroy a child's relationship  with the "Targeted Parent" after the demise of the relationship. 

Les Linet MD has a great YouTube page on the topic, here is a link to one of the best videos I have seen on the subject.

Are You A Victim of PAS?

If your former partner exhibits any of the behaviours discussed in the above video you just may be a victim of PAS. 

Here are two examples of PAS from my personal experience.   This first message was sent to me by the girls mother on Father's day just moments after we got off of the telephone after discussing that day's pick up time. 

Text Sent By Mother On Father's Day

Unsolicited Text From Mother's Boyfriend

This second message is out of order and sent from my daughter's mother's boyfriend a few days after I called the police with an Interference With Judicial Proceedings complaint because my ex and her boyfriend decided that the girls weren't going to hang out with me during my court-ordered parenting time because they didn't feel like it.    What's curious about this fellow is that he abandoned his own son out of state and has refused to have a conversation with me about his role in my daughters lives for three years and counting.

What To Do If You're A Victim Of PAS?

THE FOLLOWING ADVICE IS STRICTLY MY OPINION BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE SUBJECT.    THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN AS LEGAL OR MEDICAL ADVICE AND IT IS SUGGESTED THAT YOU SEEK THE ASSISTANCE OF A TRAINED MENTAL HEALTH OR LEGAL PROFESSION WHERE APPLICABLE. 

One of my favourite quotes from philosopher Fredrich Nietzsche reads:

"Battle Not With Monsters, Least Ye Become A Monster, and If You Stare Into The Abyss, the Abyss Gazes Also Into You" 

This is one thing that I didn't do and would recommend that anyone going through follow the above advice from Mr. Nietzsche.    Don't try to figure out why your former partner is acting a certain way, disallowing visitation or just acting errantly and irrationally.    Just keep a clear head, focus on what you can do to display your love as a parent and then engage the assistance of the necessary resources where appropriate. 

Easier said than done, I know.   However, this  may lend more weight than most of the generic advice that you will hear from well-meaning family, friends and acquaintances because this is coming from someone who has lived and is currently living this and is telling you precisely how he wishes he would have acted had he had the opportunity to go back and do it all over.

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.   I hope this post helps, reach out to me if you are the victim of Parental Alienation or share this with someone who is going through a similar situation.
p.p.s.   You are also welcomed and encouraged to share your experiences below because your story may just help inspire another reader or awaken something within yourself.

Something Unexpected And Fantastic Is Happening To You Today

Blogpost Forthcoming

It Could Be Worse>> Shakespeare & The Reading Rainbow

There Is Nothing Good Or Bad But Thinking Makes It So

-William Shakespeare

There are two main things that I remember about PBS's Reading Rainbow:

1. We used to watch full episodes in class when I was in the second grade 
2. I thought it was fascinating that LeVar Burton played the dude with funky specs on Star Trek: The Next Generation

Despite watching several episodes of Reading Rainbow over time there is only one portion of one episode that comes to mind.   In this episode they read a book about a grandfather, his grandchildren and the book centered on  the grandfather's favourite catch phrase "it could be worse."     Basically the book was about several misadventures suffered by the grandchildren and the parents to which the grandfather would always respond with a  "it could be worse."   The moral of the books story was a childhood summation of William Shakespeare's famous quotation "There Is Nothing Good Or Bad But Thinking Makes It So". 

 What a great philosophy and way to live life.    How might you think differently if anytime something 'bad' happened to you you just told yourself "it could be worse?"    Also, can you imagine if you responded to anything and everything that happened to you with a "that's good" regardless of the event?    If the event is so unfavorable you can even follow up with your "that's good" comment with the question "what could be good about this"  and you will immediately start to think things differently.

The moral of today's story is there is no such thing and good events or bad events there are just events.   Now, there are positive, negative and neutral interpretations but it is up to us as individuals as to how we want to view the world and navigate throughout the situations in your life. 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.    Were you a Reading Rainbow fan?   Share your favourite memories....            

Something Unexpected And Fantastic Is Happening To You Today

Post Forthcoming  =)

Paralysis By Analysis Or A Poor Self-Image

Why Some Folks Have More Success In Life?

At one of my old jobs I used to hang out with a fellow who used to tell me about his brother who went to multiple Tony Robbins seminars, spent a ton of time listening to self-help audios and reading self-help books yet he still lived with his parents well into his 30's and was serially unemployed.   One might think that someone with all this knowledge would be farther along in life. 

All of you Simpson's fans out there may remember an episode entitled "Homer's Enemy" in which a character by the name of Frank Grimes was introduced.    Frank Grimes lived in a small studio apartment above a bowling alley and below an other and despite having a degree in Nuclear Physics.   Frank Grimes was described as a person who "had to struggle for everything he ever got", even his job alongside Homer Simpson in Sector 7 G, which is a very low qualified job for those of you not familiar with the show. 

If you have not watched the episode a brief plot his Frank Grimes was jealous of Homer Simpson's life and perceived affluence despite being a lazy oaf because this was in direct violation of his philosophy that a person has to work hard for everything in life.      Frank Grimes, or Grimy as Homer called him,  went crazy and after an emotional breakdown accidentally killed himself via electrocution at the end of the episode because he just was so jealous of Homer Simpson and the life he led.     You can see a photo of Frank Grimes below. 

Do you know someone like this?    Someone who is unusually smart and/or works very hard but has little to nothing to show for it?   Or maybe you know someone on the other extreme, someone of below or average intelligence who moves through life effortlessly and always seems to be comfortable and has an outward appearance of success?

Isn't this interesting how this works?    Keeping in mind that these instances are usually the exception, not the rule because there are plenty of smart, hard-working folks out there that are quite successful and there are plenty of unintelligent lazy folks living in poverty.    Doesn't it make you wonder how this extreme comes to pass?

The fellow I described in the first paragraph can fall into the category of "paralysis by analysis" where he knows what to do but his fear prevents himself from moving forward and doing anything.    This form of procrastination is causing this fellow to attend seminar after seminar, listen to tape after tape and read book after book in a fruitless search for the one thing that will bring instant success but won't take any action toward his goals and passions.  

Frank Grimes can be categorized as someone with an inaccurate self-image.    Someone who sees himself as someone who constantly has to struggle and work hard just to eek a minimal existence.    Things usually get worse for this type of person and rarely if ever gets better and they eventually live an entire life of quiet desperation. 

The moral of today's story is if you or someone  you know suffers from Paralysis by Analysis or Poor Self image I urge you to get help.   Not for my sake but for yours only because you are better than you think that you are, you are more than you think you are.   There are many outstanding resources out there that can help you.    If you want to wait you can write me and place a hold on my book which is coming out late 2014. 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.   Quote of The Day::

 ‘The intelligent want self-control; children want candy.’

Another Life Lesson Inspired By The Movie "Frozen"

Why A Five Year Old Knows More About Goal Setting Than You Might

LET WHAT GO?

For the first time in months I can take my daughters to a shopping mall or a large store and not be constantly asked for a "Frozen" toy or trinket.  Maybe it's because it is because most stores are sold out of anything having to do with Frozen besides the DVD.    Maybe it's  because the girls have learned not to ask for anything unless there is a special occasion such as a holiday or birthday.   Or maybe it is because they already own any Frozen-Related item that they could ever want.      Regardless of the reason I am loving the result. 

MAN ON A MISSION.

The last item that was purchased for the girls was a blonde wig of the movie's main character Elsa.    The item was pretty costly so I decided to pass on the purchase approximately five months ago when it first came up.    This an interesting thing happened a couple months later.     The fabulous law of Supply and Demand took hold and and all of a sudden the wig was no where to be found.    Now not only was my daughter wanting the item and consistently and persistently asking for it my male fatherly goal oriented mind took over and I was committed to finding the item and purchasing it for her. 

ONE NIGHT IT HAPPENED

As we were on the way to the shopping mall I phoned the store that would have had the item and wasn't surprised when I heard the spiel that all Frozen items were sold out, how they had a limited supply, etc.     When we got to the shopping mall my daughter insisted that we go to that particular store and I opted against it because I already knew that we would just be spinning our wheels but she won the discussion as most cute five-year old little girls do so we eventually went to the store. 

When we walked into the store I asked the nearest available associates to take me to their remaining selection of "Frozen" items and she walked us to a small pathetic section of the store that looked like the "winter section" at the Wandering Oaken's Trading Post and Sauna in the film.     "You Hoo" 

We quickly noticed that the wig was not available so one of my daughters stayed by my side while I engaged with some obligatory small-talk about the popularity of Frozen with the helpful associate and unbeknownst to me the daughter who wanted the wig wandered off.      

We were interrupted mid-sentence by my daughter screaming "Daddy Look What I Found!!!" and she was literally embracing and kissing the packaging in which the wig came in.   It was almost as though she pulled this thing out of thin air, she said that it was lodged in between a couple displays.     The cashier told us that they had a return about five minutes prior from a girl who had received multiple wigs from her relatives.      Talk about serendipity. 

The moral of today's story is to go over the five steps that my daughter unconsciously took to achieve her goal of owning an Elsa Wig. 

1. Have a Clear Cut Objective>>   Have a clear cut target, in my daughters case it was an Elsa wig. 
2. Positive Expectations >>      Despite external circumstances and the harsh effects of cause and effect my daughter still persistently and continuously asked for the object of her desire until she achieved it. 
3. Engaged The Help Of Others >>   My little gal got me to buy into purchasing the wig for her to the point where I was spending my spare time trying to track down one of these wigs.    As a side note I even went as far as to obtain the number and call the Disney Stores at the theme parks to see if I can purchase and have the wig delivered.    Unfortunately they were sold out as well.  My daughter made it so I wanted to get her the wig almost as bad as she wanted to have it. 
4. Detach From Outcome >>    "Let It Go" >>  Enough Said
5. Persistence >>   Persistence pays

In his best-selling book Psycho Cybernetics Dr. Maxwell Maltz talks about how squirrels born in the spring instinctively starts to collect nuts for the winter in fall despite never having experienced a winter and how birds travel thousands of miles to migrate south for the winter and then back north again in the fall despite no high powered self-help courses in navigation or a state-of-the-art navigation system. 

Do you think that our children come pre-programmed with what they need to know in order to be successful in life and we and other adults unknowingly erode this ability over time?    Maybe maybe not.   You decide, COMMENT BELOW.

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.   POLL:   Will the summer help our children get over their maniacal obsession with the movie Frozen or will it only get stronger?    COMMENT BELOW.  

Why You Could Like Sports?

What Sports Have To Do With The Human Condition

 

 

 

 

Yesterday while watching the World Cup Match between the United States and Ghana I felt something kismet and spiritual 30 seconds into the game and then again at the 86th minute.    This was when the US scored it's two goals against their opponent Ghana.    The feeling that I felt was that of connectedness; an invisible connection with the folks in the room watching the game with me, the folks who gathered together to watch the game across the country, our brave men and women stationed in Afghanistan who were watching on CCTV, even to the US players celebrating on the field.   It was almost as though there was a red, white and blue invisible cord of pride, loyalty, elation, happiness, etc simultaneously connecting us all at that very moment in time.

 

Balderdash, you say?  

        Isn't it just a game?   

             Maybe maybe not.

 

Another interesting phenomenon with yesterday's game was the second goal scored by a 21 year old man named John Brooks.    Brooks was not even supposed to be in the game, he was only playing because he was the substitution for one of his injured teammates.  Brooks made a last minute decision to play for the United States over Germany because of his dual citizenship.   The most interesting thing about Brooks is that he said that he had a dream that he scored a header goal for the United States in the 80th minute of a soccer match in the World Cup.      If you ever watched or even remotely understand soccer,  you would know that goals are hard to come by because of the level of international competitiveness.     What was most magical about John Brooks goal is that it was a header goal which was scored in the 86th minute of yesterday's game.

 

 

Coincidence?   Did Brooks really dream about this or did this series of events just happen?  You decide.

 

Next time you don't understand someone's obsession with sports or a particular team,  realise that there may be something more at play.   

 

But then again,  maybe it's just a game....

 

Until we read again,

 

Jaxon

 

p.s.   Have a cool sports story that transcends time and space and gave you an inexplicable "good feeling"?   Have you ever been in a situation where you hugged a complete stranger, gave a random fan a high five or give someone a strong pat on the back causing him or her to spill their drink all in the name of subconscious sports celebration?   If so, feel free to share your story below, we would love to read what you have to share.  

 



Looking For Something You Can't Find?

Online Versus Organic Dating

Whether or not you are a Self-Sufficient Single Parent or just a Self-Sufficient Single, dating can be an interesting adventure.    Today's message is about the differences between online dating and organic dating and helping you find what might work best for you. 

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

Online Dating >>   Solely based on looks.   If you are not someones particular "type" you may never get any interest from your ideal mate.     HOWEVER, if a person posts photographs that highlights their strengths and you have a good online and offline (telephone) dialogue you may just hit it off with this person before the first date. 

Organic Dating >>   Based off looks.    If you approach someone and you are not their "type" or are approached by someone who is not your type.   The interaction might end quickly and hopefully politely.   I have heard folks say that looks don't matter when you meet someone in person so long as you are having a great time and that may or may not be right. 

COMPATIBILITY

Online Dating >>   There are many sites out there that match folks based on compatible answers to questions, geographical areas and there are even websites for particular interest groups.     So in theory you may go into the experience knowing that you will at least like something about the other person.    However, ones persons definition of some answers may not be the same as your definition.    This is usually an easy way to find out whether or not your potential mate has children. 

Organic Dating>>    You may not know anything about this person and starting from scratch or maybe you meet at a concert or at an event that you both have a common interest in.   However, something as important as children or whether or not this person is obsessed with sports, such as the World Cup, may or may not come up until after you have completely fallen for this person. 

 INTENT

Online Dating>>   There are many sites that are known as "hook-up" sites, sites dedicated to someone who is looking to settle down with the one and live happily ever after to anything and everything in between.   So in theory it is easier to find someone looking for the same thing that you are looking for. 

Organic Dating>>  Intent probably won't come up unless you explicitly ask right off the bat, risking coming off as too desperate or can luck out by being serendipitiously matched with someone. 

So, in summary the best way to find your special someone is whatever method works best for you because both methods has it's pluses and minuses.    At the end of the day you have to ask yourself if you are with someone who is making you a better person when you are with them because that is a big key to your ultimate happiness. 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.   Here's to an excellent week.   Something marvelous is happening to you now.  

p.p.s.   Thank you for reading this post, you are welcome to re-read, read the remainder of the blog,  comment and follow. 

What Lebron James and Peyton Manning Have In Common

Is This Really Happening Right Now?

While sitting poolside today, one of my daughters asked the following question, "Is This Really Happening Right Now."    I smiled at this curious question because how often are we in situations and we have to literally pinch ourselves because the moment that we are living is so surreal?   Maybe it was on a vacation, maybe it was that precise moment where you and that dream someone shared that first kiss....   However, this moment isn't always favorable. 

I'm sure when Lebron James was locked in a congratulatory embrace with winning Spurs head coach Greg Popovich he asked himself "Is This Really Happening Right Now."   Probably the same thing that Peyton Manning thought when he walked off Metlife Field in New Jersey after last years tragic Super Bowl loss.   I am a life-long Denver Broncos fan so let's never speak about that game again.  

In my humble opinion one interesting thing in sports than watching a team lose a major match-up because there are a lot more life-lessons in losing than in winning.    Don't get me wrong, there is magic and joy in winning that is unrivaled in many other life experiences however, we learn a lot more about ourselves and of life when we experience loss. 

We learn what we need to do better, we learn that life isn't always "fair" and more importantly we get more value out of our next win.    Because let's face it as one of my favorite bosses used to say "Winner's Win". 

Until we read again, 

Jaxon

p.s.   Let's end where we started.    Did you notice what Lebron and Peyton did almost immediately after losing their respective tournaments?    They congratulated the opponent.     This is a fantastic strategy because not only is it good sportsmanship it's also a way to make yourself immediately feel better by sending out good vibes to someone who is really happy.   

p.p.s.   Another thing about losing that you might want to remember is that your family and your true friends will always love you regardless.    

Happy Fathers Day Weekend To The Real Dads and Moms That Play The Father Role In Their Child's LIfe

Happy Father's Day!!!!!

The World Cup, Karma & Your Favourite City That You've Never Been To

Did you watch the World Cup today?    WOW!     Literally got goosebumps every time I watched a goal being scored and the celebration thereafter.    Also I enjoyed listening to the radio broadcast of the game on the drive home, although it may have been better if Andres Cantor was calling the game.

Isn't it funny how people's energy effects us in various ways?

I know someone who states that anytime something bad or unfavorable happens to you that you are literally 'burning' off bad karma and once it's burned off that you are good for whatever you did to cause that karma.  One of my favourite Lil' Wayne lyrics is "what goes around comes around like a hula hoop, karma is a bitch so just make sure that bitch is beautiful."   I won't tell you what my second favorite Lil Wayne lyric is only because I may want to save it for another time.

The moral of today's post is put out good spiritual energy is  you want a good easy care free life.    This is not polly anna look through the world through rose coloured glassed balderdash either.   If you don't believe it you are welcome to give it a try and then comment on your results.

Until we read again,

Jaxon

p.s.   The favourite city that I have never been to would have to be Nacogdoches.   Why you ask?   Not really to sure.   But if you have ever been to or know anyone who has been to Nacogdoches or Stephen F Austin University leave me a comment!!!!!

p.p.s.   If you've ever down around Houston, head on Highway 59 and head up north to Nacogdoches

The Source Of Your Strong Feelings For Lebron James

Making It To The Top Versus Starting From The Top

Legendary wrestler and coach Dan Gable once said; " The Only Place You Start At The Top Is Digging A Hole."   What he meant by this is that in order to get good at anything one has to pay their dues and learn through action.  

Since today's blog is starting out pretty sport themed I invite you to think about all the athletes that competed in either today's US Open Golf Tournament, World Cup Soccer Match or Game Four of the NBA Finals and think about the work that each one of them had to have put in to perform on that stage at that level.

Sure the respective sport may come easier to some of these athletes than their counterparts but there was not one athlete that showed up today fresh off the street and say something along the lines of "Hey my name is  Spectaculator, I am a master _____ player."   Before suiting up for the game and putting up record figures.    I could go on and on about all the time they've spent practicing throughout their lives and the number of teams they've been on throughout the same time ect ect but I am sure you get the picture.

Another thought that the previous example brought up is that these respective athletes are playing their respective sports doing what they are most good at and passionate about.    Now, I don't know enough about Lebron James to know whether or not he is a good golfer or soccer (futbol, for my readers not in the states) player but we may not have any media coverage about good ol' King James if he did not decide to play basketball for the Miami Heat.

The third and final thought today is about the vast amounts of money that these athletes are making, and for what.    FOR PLAYING A GAME!!!!!!!!!!   Yes, and not just any game but a game that they LOVE!!!!! So in summary these mega millionaire athletes are entertaining the masses, playing a meaningless game that they love.

So the moral of today's story is work hard learning about and improving on what you love and do it so well that the market can't help but pay you what you are worth.

Until we read again,

Jaxon

p.s.   When you arrive to your chosen level of success you can say something along the lines of you started from rock bottom and now you are here where 'here' is the top

Where You Gonna Be In The Next 10 Years?

If you read yesterday's post you know that someone always has it better than you and someone always has it worse off than you do.    Such is life and that will never change.

Since father's day is right around the corner let's take some time to appreciate the man you call Dad.   Let's face different extremes.     Perhaps you have the perfect text book father that gave you wonderful advice, was there in your corner every step of the way and helped you rise to the highest levels of success in life.    The other extreme is maybe you never knew your father or he walked out of your life at a very early age.     Most of us have fathers that were somewhere in between.    Whatever end of the spectrum your Dad falls on just make sure that you take the time to think about what you appreciate about him and take the time to let him know this Sunday.      (For those of you in creative situations make sure that you think of creative ways to thank "dad".    Perhaps you don't know your Dad and your Mom is your "dad".   If you fall into that situation make sure you thank Mom for the dual parental role that she plays and has played in your life.)   Remember that regardless of your circumstances your Dad probably did the best that he knew how considering the circumstances,   so go easy on him.   =)

NOW, for all your Dad's out there HAPPY EARLY FATHERS DAY!!!!!     Only because it's not Sunday yet and I want your children to have the best upbringing possible I have a little exercise for you.     Think about a future time, say 10 years from now.    How do you want your kids to look at you at that point in time?  

We all are obviously going to have different answers but whatever your answer may be, make sure that you take a moment   close your eyes and visualize that version of you 10 years hence.     Go ahead, do this, I'll wait for you.......


[[   Insert Pleasant Hold Music Here  ]]

Welcome back, now rewind back to this very moment in time.    Grab a working pen and a clean piece of paper and start writing all of the things that you need to start doing right this very moment in order to become that future father.    What do you need to start doing and what do you need to stop doing?    

Congrats if you have an empty page in front of you and are on pace to becoming that father that you wish to become.   If you have a blank page because you didn't do the exercise then now is the time to  Go Back and re-read the previous paragraph before continuing to the next paragraph.  

Okay, now start going to work on your list.   Use your back from the future insight to become the father that your child(ren) deserve.

Until we read again,

Jaxon

p.s.   COMMENT if you like my post.    What do you appreciate about your Dad?   What do you appreciate about being a father?

p.p.s.    I appreciate my current awesomely brilliant follower.    The rest of you, The More The Merrier!!!

Why Your Life Sucks.........

.............And What You Could Do About It????

A wise person once wrote...... "always appreciate what you have because it can always get worse."  This reminds me that there is always someone who has it better than you and there is always someone that has it worse off than you do.

This reminds me of two principles:  appreciation and comparison.  Namely appreciate everything that you have and if you are going to compare yourself to someone or some situation always compare yourself to someone or something that is worse off than where you currently are because regardless of where you are in life there is always going to be a better situation to aspire towards and on the other side of the coin there will always be a worse situation that will always make you feel better.

So the moral of the story is that if your life currently sucks and you want it to automatically get better than just create a mental or physical list of what you are grateful for right now and if you feel compelled to compare yourself don't compare yourself with something better and you will automatically feel better about your lot in life.    Try it and COMMENT about your results.

Until we read again,

Jaxon

p.s.  Still waiting for my first follower.    I invite you to be the first one.  =)

The Worst Job For The Summer

It's June, It's Hot EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!

Thank goodness for windshield sunshades because there are only a few things more unbearable than a 113 degree car that has been sitting in the sun all day.

So while driving around throughout the week I notice these people holding large signs for advertising purposes, I think a technical term for these folks would be street advertisers, sign holders, sign flippers etc. although in some circumstances they could be misconstrued as glorified pan handlers.

Now, you would think that this would be the most dreadful task that anyone would have to undertake in the summer months and that this task would only be assigned as some form of hazing, initiation or punishment. However from my experience it seems as though these folks really liked their jobs despite the extreme heat.  Read the brief description of three individuals I observed this week.....



TEXT GUY >>   I do not recall what kind of sign this fellow was holding because he was kind of holding the sign off to the side while he was playing with his telephone.   Talk about slacking on the job. Ha ha.

BARBER COLLEGE GUY >>  This guy was pretty cool.   He was wearing some awesome designer shades, and a tank showing off his semi-jacked physique.   This fellow was standing on a freeway off ramp holding a sign for a $7 haircut at a local barber college.  He was doing a fine job engaging the drivers by pointing at folks, waving at them and then and then pointing them towards the direction of the barber shop.   He seemed pretty stoked despite the intense temperature.

ROCK & ROLL GUY>>  Here was another cool fellow.   He had on some crazy shades, was wearing some bright lime green head phones and was playing his sign like a guitar while rocking out.    Just like TEXT GUY  I'm not sure who he was working for but it obviously looked like he was enjoying himself.

So, WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS.    The moral of the story is that it is not the task that makes a job enjoyable it's the individual and the mind-set that makes the job either fun or dreadful.    Just as easy as TEXT GUY, ROCK & ROLL GUY and BARBER COLLEGE GUY were engaging in what seemed to be enjoyable self amusement they could have used the same energy to complain how much their job sucked, looked like they were melting out in the hot sun or worse.      So next time you are bored or dissatisfied with any aspect of your job think about our friends the Street Sign Holders.